1lil_daydreamer (1lil_daydreamer) wrote in correct_french,
1lil_daydreamer
1lil_daydreamer
correct_french

Please help me!

Hi! 

I need help with a bit of French for my book.  If any of you could help, I'd be quite grateful! 

A grown man working for the FBI goes back to his home city [in the USA] to work a case, and gets an unexpected call from his irate French mother [living in said city] whom he hadn't yet called and informed of his presence...


Here is what I'm trying to say:

Mom....Mom... I was going to tell you!  I'm sorry!  No, I was going to call right after lunch!    .....Yes.  Love you.  Bye.



Here is the consensus of what I've found online, though some translators translate it funny [which is why I don't trust it]: 

Maman...Maman...J'allais vous dire! Je suis désolé! Non, j'allais vous appeler après le déjeuner!   ....Oui.  ...vous aimez.  Bye.


...would a grow man say maman?  If memory serves, don't mostly kids say that? 

Thank you so much for any help!
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It's OK to say Maman for a grown-up person, but at the same time, mind your character is using "vous", i.e. the polite form of "you". Unless he is referring to several people, like his parents, and then it's plural.

"Love you" would be "je t'aime" if he is speaking about his mother only, not his parents, and using the informal form of "you".

So, to sum it up, it should be either :

Maman... Maman... J'allais te dire! Je suis désolé! Non, j'allais t'appeler après le déjeuner! ....Oui. ...je t'aime. Ciao.

Or :

Maman...Maman...J'allais vous dire! Je suis désolé! Non, j'allais vous appeler après le déjeuner! ....Oui. ...je vous aime. Ciao.
Wow, thank you for responding so quickly! I truly appreciate [and love your icon]! Ah, the polite vs familiar 'you' is sort of coming back to me now.

Ok, so for a grown man to say to his mother, and be referring/speaking ONLY to his mother, it would be:

Maman... Maman... J'allais te dire! Je suis désolé! Non, j'allais t'appeler après le déjeuner! ....Oui. ...je t'aime. Ciao.

Correct?
Yes, it's correct! Good luck!
Thanks so much!!!
Here's what I would say:

Maman, j'allais te prévenir. Je suis désolé. Non, j'allais t'appeler après le déjeuner. Oui, je t'aime. Au revoir.

First, I change the 'vous' form for 'tu'. 'Vous' is not incorrect here, but unless they're from a very Christian or aristocratic family a mother/son would use 'tu'.

Then, a better translation of 'tell' in that context would be 'prévenir'.

Everyone uses 'Maman' even older people to refer to their mother especially when you address that person. Some people even use that word when they refer to their mother outside of a family/friends circle.

Also, I'm not sure he'd say I love you. French people hardly ever express their feelings.

Hope that helps :)
That helps a lot, actually. Thank you very much! I'm still surprised with the quickness of responses here, and truly appreciate the help.

You're welcome! I guess that you posted at right moment. It's almost 8PM here :)

Good luck with your book. Is it for Nano?
I'm happy to of been so lucky! 8pm? - are you in France, then?

Thank you very much. Yes, it's for Nano. Are you participating as well?
Yep, I am! And I haven't started Nano yet. I don't really care to win, though.
I typically don't care to win. This year, though, the program Scrivener is giving 50% off on the purchase of their program to anyone who wins. They also have a special Nano trial period. I'm quite excited, as they finally rolled out a Windows beta after years of being Mac only. This program has simplified writing & the organization of your novel [and thoughts] to an unbelievable level. ...they easily got their grab hooks in me, can you tell? ;P